Good friends

Some days ago, a friend called me early in the morning and the music in my room was turned up. He immediately concluded I am the kind of person that wakes up to music.

I told him it was not the case, and that I actually prefer a quiet morning.

He turned it into an argument on how maybe I should routinise music in the morning as it works for him.

I noticed his words had started turning the music into noise in my ears. I smiled, thanked him, and just turned off the music. Peace was restored in my mind.

With no more music in the background he went ahead to tell me why he called so early. He had a lot on his mind that needed to be unburdened. After working him through the issues, I asked him why he didn’t just listen to music instead of calling me. We laughed because we both knew I wasn’t going to just let him ruin my morning without hitting back at him.

I was happy he called. Some of the things he was struggling with were things I was also struggling with. But by discussing it together, we both found an alternative that might work and immediately felt lighter.

Cheers to good friends.

– Osasu Oviawe

Predictability

Let’s say you are about to start a trip and there are two available choices.

The first one is a familiar road with a short commute, but there is reported gridlock on the road, with an unpredictable arrival time.
The second one is a less familiar road with a long commute, but there is no traffic, with a predictable arrival time

Which would you choose?

For most people, they would go with the second option because of the predictability of arrival time. Predictability disproportionately tips the scale in decision making.

Predictability is a reward people will pay any price for.

All systems are designed to continually work on improving predictability.

Organisations that can guarantee predictability, charge a premium.

Individuals that are predictable usually rise to the top. Hate it or love it, but the kingmakers are more comfortable with a predictable fool than an unpredictable genius.

People like to predict. People like to be right. People get swept off their feet when their prediction is right.

Those who understand this are the most influential people on the planet. They continually sell the narrative that your predictions are right.

Predictability is one of the most powerful incentives.

– Osasu Oviawe

Great teams

You know when you are working in a great team.

You know when you are working in a dysfunctional team.

Results are a signal, but it goes beyond results. It is in relationships.

In a great team, you come out of a difficult meeting drained, but people reach out to re-connect and re-energize. Everyone understands the whole is greater than its parts.

In a dysfunctional team, you come out of a difficult meeting drained, but no one even bothers to reach out. Everyone disconnects in order to better prepare for the next battle.

Which is why my mantra for a while has been –

I believe teams can go fast and go far.
I have been part of such teams.
I currently work on building such teams, through respect, commitment, care and courage.

I am currently on a journey to build another great team.

– Osasu Oviawe

Go high

You have the choice to either go low or go high.

I used to think there are circumstances which force your hand into the choice you make, but I have consistently seen those who have chosen otherwise.

I now consciously demand going high from self.

– Osasu Oviawe

Engagement

Start every engagement like it is your first day.
An enthusiastic look.

End every engagement like it is your last day.
A benevolent touch.

The start and the end shapes everything in-between.

– Osasu Oviawe

Victims

You might not be able to choose the day you die, but you can choose the day you leave a toxic relationship.

In many toxic situations, we are not passive victims, but active collaborators.

– Osasu Oviawe

Dreamers beware

The minute you tell me you had a troubling dream about me, I distance myself from you.

Reality is hard enough, I cannot start worrying about your late night mind trips too.

Interestingly, some people use it as a way to trap you. I just keep my distance. If you stop seeing me in real life, surely you will stop seeing me in your dreams.

People rarely walk up to say they had a beautiful dream about you. It is always one in which danger is lurking, and if you are not careful, you bring the danger to yourself by needlessly thinking long about it.

Dreamers beware.

– Osasu Oviawe

Dips

When a child starts school, like clockwork, every parent knows they will have to deal with ill-health. But no parent stops their child from school because of that knowledge.

School is part of a child’s introduction into the world. It helps to build their immune system. It helps to build their social skills. It helps them find people they like out of choice, and not just obligation. It helps them truly know their full name.

There is a dip that comes with every new experience. Dips precede upswings. Smile, enjoy the ride.

– Osasu Oviawe

Avoid

If you have to look around and lower your tone before saying something, maybe you shouldn’t be saying it in the first place.

If you can only go to a place disguised and in the dead of the night, maybe you shouldn’t be there in the first place.

Whatever you have to change form to do, should not be in your agenda.

– Osasu Oviawe