Day: April 9, 2020

Kind candor

~ osasuoviawe ~ Leave a comment

You can be true and kind.

To be both, you must first be kind.

The goal of candor is not just to say what you think is right, but to ensure that those that need to hear it, are open to listen. For them to listen, you must first be kind to them. They must trust that the truth is not a weapon in your hands to kill them, but a balm to heal them.

Most of my life, I have led all engagements with candor, and considered care for the feelings of my recipients as secondary. I have spoken my truth, many times bluntly, but I have also met a lot of resistance and made many enemies.

Not that I care about resistance or enemies, but I care about the fact that most people choose suffering over following my truth. A truth that would have healed them is ignored and a path that kills them is chosen, because the lack of thoughtfulness in my approach reduces trust and limits acceptance.

I have now chosen a path where if I cannot be kind, I cannot be true. No matter how urgent or important, I must first be kind in my engagement, before sharing my truth. Kindness for me is about prioritizing care for the recipient of my message over the message.

The journey will not be easy, but that is part of what makes it worth it. Here’s to the journey ahead.

– Osasu Oviawe

Maundy

~ osasuoviawe ~ Leave a comment

John 13:1-15
Now before the feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. And during supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and girded himself with a towel. Then he poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which he was girded. He came to Simon Peter; and Peter said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand.” Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” Jesus said to him, “He who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but he is clean all over; and you are clean, but not every one of you.” For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “You are not all clean.” When he had washed their feet, and taken his garments, and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.

Homily:

Peter really had a lot of interesting conversations with Christ. He was the most forward and had an unusual way of overtly showing his commitment. I have a feeling he would have been second in line to betray Jesus. In fact it was not a feeling, he actually betrayed Jesus with denial. But Jesus stuck with him and obliged him in all exchanges.

In the above passage, he moved from refusing the washing of his feet to asking for a full body wash. Anytime I read it, I just burst into laughter. I wonder why it did not make Jesus to laugh.

But Holy Thursday is not about Peter, it is about the Maundy (washing of the feet) and the last supper of Jesus Christ with the Apostles.

Maundy is a gesture of humility by the leader, to pay attention to the specific areas of need in his followers. The part that is typically avoided. The part that will soil your hands. It is a difficult task to stoop and wash with your hands, the feet of another, especially when you are a leader. But that is what Christ has mandated us to do – metaphorically. Not easy, but doable.