30 years ago, a family friend came visiting our home, and her stomach looked a little rounded.
I then innocently asked her if she was pregnant. She seemed uncomfortable to answer the question for a few seconds, smiled, and replied, “No.”
When she left, my dad sat me down and gave me some advice – “No matter the hunch you think you have, never ask a woman if she is pregnant.” Of course, that did not make sense to me at the time, so I asked, “Why?”
He explained that if the woman wanted to speak about her pregnancy, she would, without a question.
And more importantly if she is dealing with weight or health issues, my not asking the question would create a safe space for her to be fully present.
I remembered that lesson today when a colleague made the mistake. I witnessed that same uncomfortable few seconds from 30 years ago. I smiled and said under my breath, “Thanks, Dad.”
– Osasu Oviawe