Leadership

“Leaders make choices that keep them up at night. If you’re sleeping well, you’re not doing your job.” ~ New Amsterdam

A mentor once said, “The price of leadership is so great it is insane that people desire it.”

I am rewriting my goals for my next 40 years this month. Pray for me.

– Osasu Oviawe

Love

The hardest thing you will do in life is love.

It will strip you of all you think defines you.

You will give all of you and realise there is still more to give.

It is the sacrifice of self to discover the nothingness in self.

There are no in-betweens with love. You are either joyful or sorrowful through it, but it does not care. It takes you as you are as long as you keep giving.

No preparation can help you with all it entails.

Sadly, there is no other way through life.

There is neither purpose nor meaning to life without it.

Love is the gift, and life is the package.

– Osasu Oviawe

Show Up

Today, you are faced with three choices – don’t show up, show up, or show up as your best self.

Don’t show up:
It is the safest option and the fastest route to irrelevance.

Show up:
It is a risky option and the only way to build prominence.

Show up as your best self:
It is the most desirable option and a good excuse for those who don’t show up.

Those who show up treat their best self as a luxury and not a necessity to show up.

– Osasu Oviawe

No words

The English sign language is the same as the French one.

The Bini smile is understood by Swahili eyes.

It is when we speak that we start drifting apart into tribes and races.

Words divide us. Actions unite us.

– Osasu Oviawe

Communication

Communication with the environment.

Communication with other people.

Communication with self.

This is the sequence of learning and development.

Family helps us with the first.

Peers help us with the second.

We are left alone for the third.

The best of us master the last.

– Osasu Oviawe

Chew Your Food

In humans, the ability to chew is directly proportional to their independence.

The more independent you are the less need you will have for mashed food from another.

This concept can be applied to almost every aspect of life.

If you are continually dependent on others to break down reality for you, your growth will be stifled.

Chew Your Food. Think for yourself.

– Osasu Oviawe

Thanks, Dad

30 years ago, a family friend came visiting our home, and her stomach looked a little rounded.

I then innocently asked her if she was pregnant. She seemed uncomfortable to answer the question for a few seconds, smiled, and replied, “No.”

When she left, my dad sat me down and gave me some advice – “No matter the hunch you think you have, never ask a woman if she is pregnant.” Of course, that did not make sense to me at the time, so I asked, “Why?”

He explained that if the woman wanted to speak about her pregnancy, she would, without a question.

And more importantly if she is dealing with weight or health issues, my not asking the question would create a safe space for her to be fully present.

I remembered that lesson today when a colleague made the mistake. I witnessed that same uncomfortable few seconds from 30 years ago. I smiled and said under my breath, “Thanks, Dad.”

– Osasu Oviawe

Not As It Seems

There is no fear I have had that turned out to be as bad as I envisaged.

I held a fear of appendicitis for most of my teenage years. It was so intense that I always felt a slight sharp pain on my lower right abdomen.

When I got tired of dealing with the fear, I convinced my parents to wheel me in for an operation.

Following the operation, the doctor was surprised that I had to be wheeled in, because according to him, “the size of the appendix he took out was at a level that could take me to the end of my life.”

There is no desire I have had that turned out to be as good as I imagined.

I always wanted to attend a course in a prestigious university.

I kept on requesting the training year-on-year for 6 years.

When it finally came around, I was underwhelmed by the learning experience.

I did not even realize how underwhelming it was until a colleague asked me why I looked disappointed.

– Osasu Oviawe