Axbe: Hi Zee, I feel so confused. It just feels like the harder I try, the faster I sink. Life just feels like quicksand.

Zee: You are right. Life can feel like quicksand most times. But to survive quicksand, you must either know about quicksand before you get into it, or quickly learn from your experience before you are completely swallowed. There is always a way out, if you can only calm down, but that is quite difficult when you’re sinking.

Axbe: I do not even know if your responses are helping.

Zee: What is the matter?

Axbe: I do not know. That is the problem. I am just blank.

Zee: What do you do when you find yourself in a dark space, with nothing but darkness all around you?

Axbe: You feel lonely and call out for others.

Zee: What if no one answers?

Axbe: Then you activate your other senses. You listen more intently. You try to get the smell of the place. You feel your way around for whatever is familiar or unfamiliar.

Zee: This is what happens in most circumstances where we meet new people, encounter new experiences or get into new projects. New people, new experiences and new projects come with so many blind spots that it feels like you are actually in a dark space. Our first reaction is that we speak about our confusion or we try to convince ourselves that all is okay, while all the time, looking for someone that understands the new terrain. When we find out we are truly alone in this dark space, many of us get stuck at calling out for help and slipping into self-pity or worse still, depression. The conscious understand that it is time to activate the other gifts within, already built for such a circumstance. The first step is actually to stop talking and listening more. Everything you do or say should be geared towards listening, to pick anything familiar that can guide you through this unknown. Then you try to get the smell of the place. What does this place smell like? A burning building, a well that once had water, a covered mud pit, an abandoned building. What does the smell remind you of? If I can connect the smell to the accumulated sensory knowledge I have, I might be able to proceed with the right steps. And finally you use your hands, both as a guide within this space and as a protection. You walk cautiously. You sometimes stoop to use your hands as a test before a step. What you are experiencing is unfamiliar, but within it is always a familiar anchor you can start from. You do not really need eyes to make progress.

Axbe: As usual, you have succeeded in confusing me even further.

Zee: At least that is a familiar anchor. Start from the place of my being confusing.

– Osasu Oviawe