Today, I had a disagreement with a colleague on the approach to solving a problem. The conversation almost veered off course, from discussing the merits and demerits of each approach, to exploring our inherent biases that incline us to our respective preferred approaches.
I noticed the conversation had moved from making the right choice to breaking the other’s choice. So I stopped myself and asked,
“Is this argument going to build or tear my relationship with this dude?”
“Is this the best way to spend my time?”
“Is the other choice fatal or foetal?”
In my assessment, a continued argument did not serve me well. I let it go, explained the merits of going with his choice, and agreed to exploring it as a next step.
Few moments later, he called back and offered a win-win approach of both our choices, that neither of us were seeing while we were arguing. Until the fog of “being right at all cost” was cleared, we could not see that the 2 choices needed each other, to produce beauty.
I am thankful for the prioritization of moving forward over standing my ground.
Day: January 13, 2021
What do you want?
Tell people what you want.
Going into a store without knowing what you want is a recipe for wild swings.
Same thing in relationships. Be clear about what you want, before you engage.
When you’re in the market, you might find a better alternative, but clarity about what you want sets a good baseline to build on.
My biggest mistakes in relationships have been hinged on a lack of clarity on what I wanted.
– Osasu Oviawe