I was once in a torturous relationship, one in which new levels of pain I did not know were possible were put on me like a crown of thorns. I was whipped at every turn with blame and carried the cross of shame with no Golgotha in sight.

But that was not the real torture.

The real torture was that every time I got an opening to leave the relationship, whether being pulled out by a loved one or being pushed out by the torturer, I was even more miserable.

It seemed the pain, no matter how crushing, was better than its relief. I was held bound to pain by shame.

I still cannot explain how I got out of that phase of my life, but I did. I cannot remember when or how I gave up the addiction, but I did.
And I find that my present nights are brighter than my past days.

That is why my only advice to anyone going through their chosen torture is: find a way to get through the day and be here tomorrow.

It might seem like a rudderless approach, but if you get through enough days, one day changes everything. And such a day is deliberately shy of memory, just like you cannot remember the circumstances of your birth even though you were fully present.

– Osasu Oviawe