Resilience

As it is impossible to precisely predict what the future brings, it is also impossible to be perfectly prepared.

You are either over-prepared or under-prepared.

Considering the risk of tail events, it is best to be over-prepared as it gives you the best chance of continuity.

But as the future is fickle, you are just as likely to be under-prepared, in spite of your best efforts otherwise.

This is why resilience – the courage to keep going, is the one value the future submits to.

– Osasu Oviawe

Values

Values direct attention.

People do not listen to the values you profess, they look for the things you pay attention to.

Where there is a mismatch, you are seen as either a wishful thinker, or worse still, manipulative.

– Osasu Oviawe

Find the others

People feel frustrated after getting through a difficult time, especially when the “why” for all the pain they went through is not immediately apparent.

It almost comes across like they are ungrateful, in spite of all that has been contributed to get them through. But they are not ungrateful,  just confused.

Pain should at least serve a higher purpose, but when pain is just experienced in and of itself, long after the pain has gone, its scars calcifies the heart, making it difficult to have rhythm.

An available “why” I have found to be beneficial is “find the others.”

When you go through pain that seemed pointless, find the others going through such pain, and you will find a higher purpose. There is always something you can contribute to make their experience better.

To find the others requires vulnerability. You need to let the demons that plague you out, for peace to fill the space created.

Pain binds people stronger than pleasure.

Your pain is an opportunity to connect deeply and contribute freely.

If you cannot find the why for your pain, find others who are bearing it like you.

– Osasu Oviawe

Sprout

In some aspects of life, you will be a disappointment to those you love and/or respect. Worse still, you might be a disappointment to yourself.

The feeling is universal, and instead of being a burden, it can be an opening.

An opening to connect deeply with who or what matters to you. People rush to help when a loved one admits what they are struggling with. The help is usually more overwhelming than it is underwhelming.

You are not alone. You are never alone.

The branches of your life that have not grown as you wish might be aspects that need to be pruned for new shoot. Instead of continuing to hold on to it as a reminder of failings, allow something beautiful use its base to sprout.

– Osasu Oviawe

Nigeria

Something is broken. Something fundamental.

It is too complex to name, but too real to miss.

Like with all things broken, some can be managed as they are, some can be mended for utility, yet ultimately, broken pieces need to either be rebuilt or replaced.

– Osasu Oviawe

Better

A friend once asked me, “Why are you optimistic?”

My initial reply was, “It is an energy source.”

I have tried other possibilities, and they all drain me.

In a world where nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems, and all things pass away, what works for me is faith in the probability that better is always a possibility.

– Osasu Oviawe

Manipulation

Children quickly learn the manipulative tricks that work on their parents.

They build a repertoire of tricks based on what works.

If you are conscious of how the public sees you, they put on a show.

If you do not like tears, they cry you a river.

If words move you, they recite poetry.

If the truth triggers you, they learn to lie.

Diminishing this tendency of manipulation as they grow depends first on their parents, and then their community. It is usually by design, not by chance. Design is not easy, the failure rate is high.

What you then have is a world full of manipulative people, looking for the trick that works on you. And as with children, people actively seek a weakness – an opening.

Denying or hiding your weakness only makes it easier to exploit. People behave poorly in the dark.
Admitting it makes exploitation look cruel. People behave better when in the light.

What is worse is that in the full expression of the manipulation gene, people do not stop at manipulating others. We also perfect manipulating ourselves.

Whenever I see a trending video of a child using a manipulative trick, I try to understand the weakness the child sees in their parents.

– Osasu Oviawe

A privilege

Working with someone who demands high standards early in life is a privilege.

We are shaped more by our start than any other phase.

It might be inconveniencing in the moment, but it will prepare you for whatever may come.

– Osasu Oviawe