Living hell is self-judgment we project as the judgment of other people.

Nobody will ever be as hard on you as you are on yourself.

Go easy.

– Osasu Oviawe

Every birthday is a milestone, so what makes 40 special?

First of all, it is a psychological checkpoint.

There has been rapid growth in all aspects of life until this point, and all that growth comes from not knowing what is for you, what is not for you, and what just is.

Everything earlier seemed messy, chaotic, and blurry, but 40 is an opportunity to draw a line of best fit, finding a pattern of what served you, what enslaved you, and what freed you.

You still need people, but you can choose who is the best fit.

You will still make mistakes, but you can own them faster and take the learning quicker.

You are still growing, but you can be more intentional about the direction and intentional if no direction serves.

The day you turn 40 is no different from yesterday or tomorrow.

But it presents an opportunity to reflect on and redefine who you are.

You can do it at any other time, of course, but 40 is the most probable midpoint of life, so it is convenient.

But let the desire to use it not become a burden; otherwise, you have the famous midlife crisis.

Think of 40 only as a convenient check-in.

But don’t wait for it, don’t beat yourself up for not knowing better after it, don’t wish you could go back to it.

All that 40 offers is offered to you every day if you can only pause, reflect on, and redefine who you are.

– Osasu Oviawe

One way to improve the quality of a relationship is to increase the quantity of time spent on it.

One way to reduce the quality of a relationship is to reduce the quantity of time spent on it.

In the end, time is the only quality remembered in relationships.

You are time. Be there.

– Osasu Oviawe

If you can do whatever it takes, then no cost is too high for you to pay, and no action too heavy for you to bear.

It sounds liberating, but it is a trap.

The value in virtues is in the experiences they shield you from: experiences whose cost cripples you and whose memories drown you with regret.

– Osasu Oviawe

There is no greater joy than to give the one you love all of you.

I am joyful.

– Osasu Oviawe

Everything will come, not at once, but everything will come together.

Until then, smile and embrace each arrival.

– Osasu Oviawe

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast” because, unlike strategy, it is not limited by brainstorming or articulate writing. Word of mouth is enough.

While strategy is constricted by the tip of the pen, word of mouth rides on loose tongues.

Word of mouth is only limited by the imagination of the mouth’s owner, and imagination is never in short supply.

A strategy that wins must be embedded in what people like to talk about. People like to talk about stories. Strategy must align with the stories people like to tell. There’s no sweeter story than stories about people.

Winning strategies are always gossip-worthy people stories, not growth, low-cost, differentiation, or execution stories.

– Osasu Oviawe

Knowing when to listen to your body and when to ignore it is the difference between personal excellence and personal harm.

In no domain is this seen better than in sports.

A domain where the body needs to be pushed to its breaking point, but not to actually break it. Because while reaching the breaking point stretches and strengthens the body, breaking it strains and weakens it.

The difference is subtle, but it is noticeable and trainable.

It is not the body that first says stop. It is the mind. So the trick is to push the body beyond the mind’s screams until its chatter stops. Then it frees up space for you to listen only to the body, and its feedback to stop is a much gentler tone that is difficult to miss.

Another domain where it can be observed is in reading.

I was reading a book the other day, and on the first paragraph, my mind was already screaming about all the other things I should be doing, including resting. I smiled to acknowledge it but kept on reading, and I was grateful for it, because I learned in the next few minutes something I had struggled to put into words for years.

But a few hours in, I started feeling sleepy. I again tried to fight it, believing it was another chatter from the mind, but this was a gentler nudge. The words were getting blurry, and I was drifting in and out of sentences. I gave in to the lure of slumber from the body, and by the time I woke up, I was so much sharper than I was when I started reading.

In reading, when the mind tells you to take a break, it does not ever re-energize your return. But when the body tells you to take a break, it refreshes you to an energy level higher than the start of your reading.

The body knows the breaking point, and it tells you. You can only miss it if the mind’s chatter keeps on going without end. Focus the mind on the goal, and it will have less time for chatter. Without a goal, the chatterbox is the greatest enabler of harm.

– Osasu Oviawe

I pray you experience love, even if it breaks your heart; I pray you experience it.

Nothing else comes close to understanding our reason for being than to love and be loved.

– Osasu Oviawe

If you have no choice, that is your choice.

If you have a choice, that is your choice.

If you have many choices, you are disabled by choice.

If you have few choices, you are enabled by choice.

Choice is as personal as the soul and, like the soul, can be traded away by the undiscerning.

– Osasu Oviawe