Trust

People struggle with trusting themselves. They let themselves down too often. It gets harder to live with yourself the longer you fail yourself.

Many find solace in judging the failings of others.
Few find solace in self-empathy. 

You have more people trying to heal from self-hurt than from any hurt caused by others.

When someone does not trust you, it is easy to judge them, but if people knew all of you, would you advise them to trust you?

One of the biggest risks an individual takes is to trust another. Yet it is the biggest leverage humanity has.

To build self-empathy, we must trust in another.

– Osasu Oviawe

Pilgrims

We are all pilgrims heading to places of our deepest desire.

We make untold sacrifices for our journey, and when we arrive we find happiness in its fulfilment. But happiness is fleeting. The fulfilment of our desire still does not make the place home.

Home is where all desires are planted. So we return home to find joy. Joy is enduring. When we get home, we tell tales of our journey and the beauty of desires fulfilled. And then new desires are planted. We seek a new pilgrimage. Off we go again.

Home feeds our journey around the world.

– Osasu Oviawe

Sincerity

The more you know, the less you say.

As you begin to realise the limits of understanding and the limitlessness of misunderstanding, you are inclined to carefully choose your words.

Leaders are always walking a tight rope between being sincere and being misunderstood.

As a leader, you always know more than you can say.

What I have found with the greatest leaders is that they tell their people what they can share and what they can’t share. It exposes a vulnerability, as most people equate being able to say all you know, think or feel as power.

In showing the limits of their communication, they choose sincerity over manipulation.

It is not an easy choice.

Most leaders kick the can down the road by making up diversionary logical stories in a bid to manipulate. They understand it is impossible to share all they know, but they are uncomfortable with the gap it creates, so they fill it with empty words. Empty words that leave them hollow.

Great leaders choose to either be candid or keep mum. It is okay not to be able to share all you know at any point in time.

Like with most things in life, “why”, “what”, “how”, “where” or “who”, are not as important as “when”.

Speak only when it is necessary and speak your truth.

– Osasu Oviawe

Welcome

No matter who you are, when you arrive home from a journey, people rush to take off the load you carry, hug you and welcome you with some refreshment.

It does not matter whether you are the breadwinner or the prodigal son.

Family understands that in taking the load off you, it feels better than you just dropping it. They understand it is not enough for the load to be off you, an embrace always makes the heart lighter. And they know, no matter how the journey went, a refresh is required.

We are all on one journey or the other. When you meet people, try to apply same.

1. Take the load off.
2. Handle with care.
3. Re-eneregise.

Say welcome with your actions.

– Osasu Oviawe

Stir up

Occasionally, we had water scarcity in secondary school, and had to walk long distances to fetch from muddy wells.

A flocculant (Alum) always came in handy for clarification, but you do not just drop it in a bucket and expect clarification. You literally stir up the waters to allow centrifugal and centripetal forces to act. In fact, if you did not even have alum, or did not like the feel of water after alum addition, just stirring up the waters in a whirling cycle led to clarification.

As a brewer, I found that same thinking in the last clarification step of brewing. No alum required, but a stirring up of the waters (or in this case, the stirring up of wort) improved clarity.

Just as literally stirring up the waters helps bring clarity, metaphorically doing same helps.

– Osasu Oviawe

Scarred forever

The relationships you can’t seem to let go are the worst.

The worst relationships are the best at nurturing hope.

A hope that things will change if you only give more.

You give more. You give everything and more, yet nothing changes.

Then you blame yourself. What you have to give is not enough. You are not enough.

If you are unlucky, and most people are, you remain stuck in the sunken place. Lost forever.

If you are lucky, by some stroke of luck, something wakes you up. Scarred forever.

– Osasu Oviawe

Space and the view

The wealthy have always preferred space and the view.

You wonder why someone would pay for a suite, own a house with more space that can be filled by people, buy a bigger yacht, a bigger private jet or a whole island. It is all about space.
You can almost say they’re claustrophobic. Which might be why they have a higher probability of suicide when they are jailed.

The wealthy hate the ground floor of buildings. Before lifts, most luxurious buildings were built with the first and second floor designed for the wealthy. Everyone else stayed on the ground floor or higher floors where the stress of the stairs would totally wear you out.
When lifts were introduced, the wealthy immediately started redesigning buildings to ensure they had the best view – penthouses.

It is no surprise that the world’s billionaires are showing more optimism for space exploration than ocean exploration. Space exploration offers both space and a view like no other.

Hate it or love it, but the crazy passions of the wealthy, finance the greatest breakthroughs of humanity. Their thirst for space and the view might just be the saving grace of posterity from environmental disaster.

– Osasu Oviawe

Covid-19

If there is something covid-19 has brought back in view, it is how unhygienic everyday life is.

It is a miracle of the body’s design that we manage to live for many years with all the germs we expose ourselves to.

If there is anything covid-19 has reinforced, it is how difficult it is for people to change. They would rather literally die than change.

It is almost a wonder how we evolved through time. Then you realise evolution occurs with such minimal change, people hardly noticed. Maybe that’s the only way to make lasting change.

– Osasu Oviawe

Cash

Today, I found money in the pocket of a jacket I have not worn in a long while.

This is one of the lucky finds I rarely experience these days, since most of my transactions are digital.

I tried figuring out why the cash was in the pocket of my jacket, and not my wallet. I always put cash at hand back in my wallet.

It is also possible my wife kept the cash there for safe keeping. Well, it is now safely in my hands.

I am thankful for cash in hand.

Hypnic Jerk

A “falling” feeling when you are falling asleep, making you wake up with a startle.

When I was younger, I described this feeling to an older friend, and he had an explanation for it that got me scared. He said, “It means you were falling into a sleep so deep, you were about to die, so your brain had to wake you up with a jolt.”

I carried that explanation in my head for years. Anytime I experienced the falling feeling, I refused to continue sleeping.

Then one day I decided to do some research on it, because it seemed I was experiencing it often – at least once in a quarter. I was surprised at my findings.

The research on it is still ongoing, but current knowledge shows that it is not a sign that I was just saved from dying, but an involuntary muscle contraction.

With this new knowledge, I started sleeping better, even after it happens.

Knowledge shapes destiny.

– Osasu Oviawe