No Comms

If you reconnect with people who hurt you, then it is not healing you seek; it is the reopening of wounds.

Many people are addicted to the reopening of wounds.

“How to cut off communication” is one skill that hurtful people were put there to teach you.

Learn it.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Friendship

I have a friend whose life goal was for me to have a house in Benin.

He didn’t care about me having property anywhere else in the country or the world. He only cared about me having one at home.

And this year, he won. He didn’t win just with words; he won by actively sourcing the property, organizing the sale, perfecting the paperwork, supervising the renovation, and delivering the keys.

He basically removed all friction from the transaction just to pull it through.

There is an unexplainable joy that comes from seeing friendship in action.

Relationships are a reason for being. Everything else serves at its altar.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Read

Your vocabulary is indicative of your life experiences and is typically shaped after the experience.

However, to have a full experience of any aspect of life, you need the vocabulary before the experience. Otherwise, you are unable to name and connect to the moment.

There are a few amazing hacks for building vocabulary before the experience, and they all involve connecting with people.

One that I find amazing is reading. You do not need to be anything other than yourself to connect with another, and yet you disproportionately gain vocabulary before the experience. And so, when the experience comes, you are able to live it more fully.

Whatever you do, create space for reading. It will open your eyes to the world around you without having to leave the place you are at.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Clarity

Life does not offer a clear “yes” or “no” because it is filled with nuances, but to navigate life and find peace in it, you must distill your “yes” or “no” from all the “it depends.”

– Osasu Oviawe

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Strengths and Weaknesses

A knife is only as useful as its ability to cut through what you need chopped.

The more effective it is at that, the more likely it is that a mindless stroke could also cut you.

You will not discard a knife or blunt its edges because it cut you. You will be more mindful during its use.

That is how to approach strengths and weaknesses. The parts of you that are most effective can also be your pitfall if you are not mindful.

Your weaknesses are not a reason to shrink away from the light. They are there to remind you to be mindful.

And if you are, they will hurt you less.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Prayers Work

On important occasions, I ask for my mum’s prayers.

Then I ask for my girl’s prayers.

And finally, I pray for myself.

God always comes through.

Somebody’s prayers work, and I’m unwilling to stop any to find out whose.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Good Old Friends

Good old friends are the best company for time travel.

The laughter they bring smooths out all the curves and edges of the journey, making it all feel worth it.

I have few friends, but I have some really good old ones.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Enough

You will never understand what enough is until you experience the wealth of a stable home.

A stable home is the hallmark of belonging. Wherever you find it, nurture it.

Anything else only triggers a desire for more, and more never satisfies, it only bloats the ego.

A bloated ego courts suffering.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Spine of Steel

The strongest people I know are just as afraid as the average Joe.

What sets them apart is that they keep going, turning the slow trickle of time into fuel for courage.

And no one who keeps going remains a victim, however overwhelming the circumstance.

– Osasu Oviawe

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Genius

Learning to ask for what you want is the purpose of all learning.

On one end of the scale, some people skip all learning and jump right into asking for what they want. They are called geniuses.

On the other end of the scale, some people seek all learning before asking for what they want. They are called rut dwellers.

Most people sit somewhere in between, moving in either direction depending on life’s feedback. They are called learners.

Most people feel they need to first be sure of what they want before they ask, even as life continually teaches that there is no sure thing.

Move toward the end with the geniuses. Never second-guess yourself before asking for what you want.

— Osasu Oviawe

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