Xee: Hi Zee, I need your help.
Xee: I have an emergency, it costs about 100K, but i have 70K. Please can you help me with the balance 30K?
Xee: Haba, are we quarrelling?
Xee: Please nau. You are my last hope.
Zee: No, I’m not.
Xee: You seem off today. Is everything okay?
Xee: Please see if you can help.
Zee: Okay, let me help. First of all, you don’t have an emergency of 100K. You have an emergency of 30K. But you think, telling me you’ve put up 70K will show that you’re committed and maybe guilt me into supporting with a token 30K. Secondly, you have no plans of paying back. Just like all the other times, another gist will come up. Thirdly, I really don’t have 30K. Stopped holding cash because of friends like you. However, I know a place where you can always get a loan – it is called a bank.
Xee: Na wa ooo. You should have just stuck to “No”. All this epistle for just 30K. I thought you were bigger than this ooo.
Xee: You’re not saying anything. Okay, thanks anyway.
1 day later…
Xee: I have gotten the full amount. My mum was ill and that’s why I needed the funds. But you didn’t ask. You’re so judgmental. But I understand. I put myself in that position.
Xee: Silence is your new style. No wahala. Have a good life.
Zee, now chilling at a bar, listening to One ticket by Kizz Daniel and Davido – “Everytime wire me money, hello baby have you sent it?”
– Osasu Oviawe