People are conditioned to prioritize strong partners. Many times, strong means partners with unbridled desire. A lot of us date broken people that make us never learn what love is.
And it is not totally the fault of our partners. They were also abused. Coming from broken homes that nurtured toxicity. By broken I do not mean homes with separated parents. I mean homes in which conflict is such a common denominator, you might mistake it for a love language. Many homes would have worked out better with a separation.
We all have traits of the Stockholm syndrome. We are all in love with our abusers. We defend them. We go back to them. Too many abusers are disguised as family, lovers and friends.
Time and money becomes our justification for staying in the unhealthiest relationships. Totally chained by sunk cost. We have spent too long with this person or spent too much resources on this person, so we must see it through. Such a stupid choice, but we stick to it. We normalize bad behavior and assume it is so for everyone. It is not. We assume it will pass. It will not.
And then there is the entitlement. The persistent ungrateful demand for more based on authority or position.
None of us is complete without the other, but some people really come to ensure that you never feel whole. Never feel joy. Never feel peace. Never feel loved. Then they make you blame yourself and prioritize them.
Audit your life. The person that you are scared to leave is the one you should leave. The person you are grateful to have is the one you should be with. Break free from your abusers. Embrace love.
– Osasu Oviawe