I have friends that always hesitate to call other friends that are going through a traumatic phase.
Their reason is simple – “I do not know what to say, and I would not want to say the wrong thing at such a delicate time.”
Then a friend who recovered from a traumatic phase called me to complain about how absent some of our friends were. And that his healing took longer because they were absent.
I apologised and explained their reasons, and then he said something profound.
He said, “Hopefully, there won’t be a next time, but next time, they can just call and say, “I do not know what to say, and I would not want to say the wrong thing in this delicate time. But I am here to listen and lean on. I’m here.”
And then they can just be there and listen. They might be right that such a phase might not require words, but it requires presence from those you care about.”
He was right. I learnt something there too. Our excuses can also be the key to act, if we reframe it.
– Osasu Oviawe
Reframe
