In the early days, we are taught that water puts out fires.
But as we grow, we begin to realize that not all fires respond to water. In fact, some fires become worse—electrical fires, oil fires, fuel fires, gas fires. To fight such fires effectively, you need the right extinguisher.
The same holds true in relationships.
When we are younger, we are taught that communication puts out relational fires. Talk it through, open up, express yourself—these are the waters we are told will cool the flames.
But as life unfolds, we discover that there are some fires in relationships where communication alone can make things worse—distrust, addiction, trauma, deep betrayal. In such cases, words may inflame rather than soothe.
To effectively rebuild a relationship, the right platform, the right method, the right “extinguisher” is required. Sometimes that looks like therapy. Sometimes it looks like space. Sometimes it looks like accountability and action beyond words.
Not every fire is for water.
Not every wound is for words.
— Osasu Oviawe