The underlying issues that break relationships are usually never known. When you ask partners what went wrong, they often describe the symptoms. Arguments, distance, lack of intimacy, silence.
But just like with illnesses, it is rarely the symptoms that destroy us. Symptoms are simply what make us uncomfortable. The real problem lies in the root causes. Unspoken resentment, unmet needs, mismatched values, old wounds that remain unaddressed.
The irony is that without symptoms, we can live with almost any underlying issue for a very long time. Many relationships appear fine until the discomfort grows too loud to ignore.
So how do we get to the root cause? As with ill health, it often requires professional help. A doctor diagnoses what we cannot see. In the same way, a therapist or counselor can help partners uncover what lies beneath the recurring conflicts.
Healing begins when we stop chasing symptoms and start dealing with the root.
– Osasu Oviawe