I learnt something recently from a loved one. She complained that most times when she calls during the day, my response is, “Please I am busy right now. Can I call you back later?”
Even though I keep to my word and call later, the emotions required to share what she initially intended is no longer there and so the conversation goes into the mundane. Sometimes, if the call is long enough, which it usually isn’t, she gets around again to share what she intended in the first place. But most times, that information is lost and buried, leading to a subtle resentment for not being prioritized.
It was an awakening moment to me, as I thought about many other close friends and family that most likely also feel this way. This bad behavior is borne out of my urge to complete any deep work I start, before jumping into anything else. I then asked if it was okay for me to turn my phone off whenever I am doing deep work and then turn it back on when I was free to engage, and she said, “No, the impact will be the same”. It was then I realized again that I needed to re-prioritize. Just like a call from my CEO can be taken at any time and prioritized above any deep work I was into, a call from my loved ones should be ranked even higher. I thought I was doing better, as I had gotten this learning before and I wrote about it in “I will call you back”. But obviously, old habits die hard.
I am grateful for loved ones that find the most caring way to shine a light on my flaws and blind spots. I will continue to learn ways to do better.
– Osasu Oviawe