Death is final. This is intuitive to humankind.
The past is final. This is counter-intuitive to humankind.
We bury the dead, mourn and move on. No one goes to exhume their dead every time memories flood in, with the hope of giving it life and a second chance.
We do not bury the past, we brood and live in its shadow. We go to it frequently, with the hope that it will make sense and right the present.
An unburied dead body will not only rot, it will pose a physical health risk to everyone that is still living, ultimately killing them. Nature knows this and ensures we feel so repulsed by the rot, we either flee from it or we are forced to bury it. You have to bury the dead, no matter how deeply you mourn.
An unburied past also rots and poses a mental health risk to the carrier, ultimately limiting them. Nurture shows you how debilitating an unburied past is, but nurture is slower than nature in showing impact. That slowness makes you not to easily see the toll you are paying. The toll is so high, all other days pale in comparison to the unburied – you waste days that exist, thinking about days that no longer exist; it is equivalent to killing the living in order to keep the dead unburied.
I know our inclination to holding on to the past cannot be solved by just saying “bury the past”. But taking active stock of its toll might help you reflect on whether it serves you or drains you.
How do you know whether it serves you or drains you? If it serves you, you will be able control it and choose when it comes and when it goes. If you cannot control it, then it drains you.
What do you do if you cannot control it? Replace it.
You can only hold one thought at a time, and you can choose the thought you hold. It might seem counter-intuitive, but it is true. You can choose your thoughts. You can choose thoughts that serve the present.
– Osasu Oviawe
The past
