As I grow older, I find arguing to be a symptom of weakness, and not a demonstration of strength.
It is a sign of a lack of resources to act.
Arguing as used here is significantly different from debating.
In debates, there is respect. It is evidenced by the space and time equitably available to each party to add their essence.
In arguments, there are no values. It is a guerilla warfare on who can dominate space and time with sound, not necessarily substance.
Getting pulled into an argument is like getting pulled into a fight.
The one who initiates a fight knows they have nothing to lose. Beating them will bring the wrath of the crowd, losing to them will lower your self-esteem. You only win by avoiding the fight.
The one who is strong enough to win a fight always avoids a fight until it is inevitable.
Treat arguments like a fight. Avoid, until it is inevitable. It is rarely inevitable.
A note of caution: Please do not avoid the argument externally and condone it internally. Do not move the fight you avoided in public into your head or heart. Playing out scenarios of how the argument would have gone and how you missed an opportunity to dominate is self-defeating.
I have found that it is worthless to think of what does not serve you, yet enslaves you.
“When you get me a good man made out of arguments,” says an old woman in Middlemarch, “I will get you a good dinner with reading you the cookery-book.”
Avoid arguments externally and internally. Reframe it in a way that makes you see the action needed to ensure the argument never comes up again. Then act.
– Osasu Oviawe
Arguments
