I read about the slaughter of a family by the matriarch of the home last week in Benue State. It sent chills running down my spine. It is not new or unheard of. I have seen lots of stories on domestic violence that went all the way.
Unfortunately, “Till death do us part” does not explain what type of death, so a lot of married couples will rather embrace murder than walk away.
This conditioning starts even before marriage, people just don’t know how to walk away from bad relationships or to let go of those that want out.
We think of the sunk cost – the image we have to maintain in the world, the children, the time invested, the money spent, our virginity, the many abortions, the seeming lack of skills to survive without the other and many other sunk costs. Humans are inherently designed to give it one more shot – that’s part of the reasons the lottery and betting will never go away.
There is value in weathering storms, but you must be weathering the storms, not drifting in it. There should be communication on the issues, both parties must be putting in the effort while awaiting results.
If you feel isolated in a relationship, all communication has broken down and your partner is not putting in any effort to make it better, but is beating you into shape (or shapelessness), please ignore the sunk cost. Take a long walk to freedom.
And please, when you’re on that walk, do not look back. Remember Lot’s wife.
– Osasu Oviawe