I was having a tele-conversation with a friend recently, and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was struggling to carry on with the discussion.
I had to ask him what the matter was, and it seemed to open a floodgate of emotions from his last conversation with his auto-mechanic. He was almost pulling out his hair to describe his frustration with getting the right auto-care.
I asked him why he did not take the car to the recommended auto dealer’s workshop, and his feedback was, “All mechanics in this country are the same in terms of skillset, just that the auto dealer has a cleaner environment which I will then have to pay heavily for.”
I asked him how long he had been working with the current auto-mechanic, and he said “4 years.” 4 years of this kind of frustration, and yet he was unwilling to try any other options. He had gotten so used to complaining, he was unwilling to explore the possibility that he would never need to complain again. In his words, “The devil I know is better than the one I don’t. Besides I have been with this guy for long, I know how to handle him.”
Most human relationships are built on habitual complaint, and not habitual bliss. This is not helped by the fact that when people try to get out of toxic relationships, society judges them unkindly. The power is usually with the perpetrator and not the victim.
Knowing what to put up with, and when to quit, is an art that requires constant finetuning. But it is always worth remembering that if the only reason you maintain a relationship is because of the time you have put in, that reason perpetuates itself until you have no more time, yet plenty regrets.
Sometimes, the only way to find peace is to leave your current war front.
– Osasu Oviawe
